Thursday, July 30, 2009

 

Three worst nightmares

NIGHTMARE #1

After a long night of making love, the young guy
Rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and
Searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if
she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer,"
she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table
and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a
framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to
worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all,"
she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?"
demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied,
"That's me before the surgery ."

NIGHTMARE #2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so
he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night
he came from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought
to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to
get under the covers and go down on his wife.
Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
After a few minutes, her body spasm with ecstasy
as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the
bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was
on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed ,
"What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing
at the bed, "You'll wake my mother"

NIGHTMARE #3

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they
are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front
door, the guy starts feeling a little h **** . With an air of
confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling,
he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a b *** job?" Horrified,
she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on!
Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at
her. "No, please.
Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just
too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no,
and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you..." Out of the blue, the
Light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her
Pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says
To go ahead and give him a b*** job, or I can do it. Or if need b,
mom says she can come down herself and do it But for
God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!

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