Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Stimulus Plan
It is the month of JUNE a resort town sits next to the shores of a lake. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 dollar bill on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.
The hotel proprietor takes the 100 dollar bill and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The Butcher takes the 100 dollar bill, and runs to pay his debt to the pig raiser. The pig raiser takes the 100 dollar bill, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 dollar bill and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.
The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 dollar bill to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.
The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 dollar bill back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 dollar bill, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.
No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism . And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Government is doing business today.
Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 dollar bill on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.
The hotel proprietor takes the 100 dollar bill and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The Butcher takes the 100 dollar bill, and runs to pay his debt to the pig raiser. The pig raiser takes the 100 dollar bill, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 dollar bill and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.
The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 dollar bill to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.
The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 dollar bill back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 dollar bill, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.
No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism . And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Government is doing business today.
Labels: business, credit, debt, government, hotel, pay, plan, stimulus
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Surviving the credit crunch
- DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
- DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
- SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741GP,
- DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
- SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
- HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
- OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
- SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble-full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
- SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to the hospice shop, they will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty cents.
- CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.
- MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
- SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.
Labels: credit, crunch, financial advice, resession
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