Monday, March 1, 2010
Nudist Colony
A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area.
A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?'
The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'
She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain.. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities.. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted.
Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man...
'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.
'You must be new.' answered the hairy man.
'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.’ The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.
The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.
'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'
'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'
'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'
A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?'
The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'
She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain.. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities.. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted.
Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man...
'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.
'You must be new.' answered the hairy man.
'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.’ The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.
The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.
'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'
'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'
'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'
Labels: erection, exclusive, fart, hairy man, membership, nudist colony, sauna
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Balloon trouble
A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the
house with his finger His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to
break something, but the boy continues.
"Johnny!" Mom screams "Knock it off." You're going to break something.
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon agai n after his mom has left for the
Store... He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it..
Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge, A
Diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH,
Out it comes.
When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her
Doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, b ut he
Assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his
Knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his
Pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon
Explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the
First time I've ever actually seen a fart!"
house with his finger His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to
break something, but the boy continues.
"Johnny!" Mom screams "Knock it off." You're going to break something.
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon agai n after his mom has left for the
Store... He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it..
Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge, A
Diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH,
Out it comes.
When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her
Doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, b ut he
Assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his
Knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his
Pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon
Explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the
First time I've ever actually seen a fart!"
Labels: balloon, fart, funny jokes, Little Johnny
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