Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Faceless: Knee Injury
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
TV and psychology
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology, that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions.
The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me both
happy and sad at the same time."
She said: Out of all your friends, you have the biggest peni$
The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me both
happy and sad at the same time."
She said: Out of all your friends, you have the biggest peni$
Labels: biggest peni, friends, happy, husband, mixed emotions, phenomenon, psychology, sad, tv, wife
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Mixed Emotions
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology, that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions.
The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me both
happy and sad at the same time."
She said: Out of all your friends, you have the biggest peni$
The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me both
happy and sad at the same time."
She said: Out of all your friends, you have the biggest peni$
Labels: biggest peni$, friends, happy, husband, mixed emotions, phenomenon, psychology, sad, tv, wife
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Last Day on the Job
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to
the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on
his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with
the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry
waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for
words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for
you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on
his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with
the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry
waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for
words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for
you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
Labels: adult jokes, husband, mailman, wife
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
How to Handle A Husband
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay , Jamaica . Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple.' The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America ,'explained the man. 'We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.' 'We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you $%#@!crazy?' She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.'
And from that moment on.... We have lived happily ever after.'
The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America ,'explained the man. 'We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.' 'We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you $%#@!crazy?' She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.'
And from that moment on.... We have lived happily ever after.'
Friday, July 10, 2009
Wife's letter to husband
My darling husband,
Before you return from your trip, I want to let you know about a
little accident I had with your Bakkie. Fortunately, it was not too
bad and I didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. In
fact, about 5 seconds after it was over, I felt much better and was back to
my happy, smiling self! I didn't see any reason to notify the police as it
happened
at home.
I was coming home from Spar, and when I turned into the driveway I
accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake! The
garage door is slightly bent but your Bakkie, fortunately, came to a halt
When
it bumped into your car. Lucky for you, your motorcycle was spared.
I am really sorry, darling. But with your kind-hearted, giving, loving
personality I'm positive you will forgive me. Remember how much I love you
and care for you, my sweetheart. Enclosed is a picture of my little
"accident." Have a safe trip home. Oh yes, before I forget...
Your girlfriend called.
Your loving wife.
Before you return from your trip, I want to let you know about a
little accident I had with your Bakkie. Fortunately, it was not too
bad and I didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. In
fact, about 5 seconds after it was over, I felt much better and was back to
my happy, smiling self! I didn't see any reason to notify the police as it
happened
at home.
I was coming home from Spar, and when I turned into the driveway I
accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake! The
garage door is slightly bent but your Bakkie, fortunately, came to a halt
When
it bumped into your car. Lucky for you, your motorcycle was spared.
I am really sorry, darling. But with your kind-hearted, giving, loving
personality I'm positive you will forgive me. Remember how much I love you
and care for you, my sweetheart. Enclosed is a picture of my little
"accident." Have a safe trip home. Oh yes, before I forget...
Your girlfriend called.
Your loving wife.
Labels: cheaters, corvette, How A Wife Should Welcome Home Her Husband, husband, Twin Cam Peugot bakkie
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